Lakers Trade Showtime for LeBronzo Ball

LeBron James is taking his talents to Los Angeles.  This signifies the official death of “Showtime” as we know it.  The Lakers have traded “Big Game” James Worthy for “Big Hype Daddy” Lavar Ball.  They have swapped out “Big Shot Bob” Robert Horry for “Big Baller Brand” shoes that no one is buying.  And the true “King of the Skyhook” Kareem Abdul Jabbar has been dethroned by a once and future “King James” named LeBron.  RIP “Showtime”.

Sure, the Lakers will be adding some pieces to the LeBronzo Ball puzzle and they are likely to win a bunch more games.  The interaction between LeBron and Lavar will alone drive up the Jack Nicholson seats to 6 digits a game.  And surely the Laker bandwagon will be overrun with purple and gold, newly minted die-hards that have laid silent since Shaq came to town.  But rest assured, LeBronzo Ball will look nothing like “Showtime”.

About the time LeBron’s current contract runs out, California will be ready to secede from the union and “King James” will be a lay-down winner to be anointed the first ever “King” of a United States territory.  He will have found a way to treat current Laker owner Jeanie Buss like an indentured servant, he will have Magic Johnson fetching him coffee and he will have negotiated a team that has more baggage than a rich lady on a 3 month European vacation.  Maybe this guy deserves to be King.

“Showtime” was basketball at its best.  Hall of Famers, multiple time all-stars, multiple time ring winners and the embodiment of teamwork where flash crossed paths with talent and the results were legendary.  That ship has left the Lake(rs).  What you have now is the greatest player on the planet prepping for the next phase of his life and calling it basketball.  Oh sure, a round ball is going through a hoop and games will be won, but it is all fluff.  The reality is, if “King James” does indeed aspire to be the anointed King of California, then he must wrap his head around completely ditching the “championship” concept and go straight self magnification.

LeBronzo Ball is here and it is here for a while.  The level of play with be easily trumped by the level of ridiculousness.  LeBron James has been under the microscope since he was 15 years old and has always said the right thing.  He has earned the right to play wherever he wishes.  And he has positioned himself for the next phase of his life.  It is brand awareness time people, don’t go thinking this is about winning championships again.  LeBronzo Ball is what you wanted and it is exactly what you deserve.  The first ever “King of California” is headed to town and you won’t be able to elevate him to Supreme Ruler fast enough.  Has anyone checked on the availability of The Zen Master recently?